Monday, October 7, 2019

All Of Me

“...and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength.”
~ Audre Lorde ~

I've been called a fool for sharing my weaker paintings online, and that a "real" artist would only share their very best works, hiding the bad or failed ones away, to not let viewers know about them at all. But somehow that feels wrong to me. I believe that having an online artist's presence means being willing to put myself out there, being vulnerable by sharing a most intimate part of myself - the art I create, all of it. 

"Splash the Glittering Faeries Dance"
© 2019 Tammy Kaufman
4.75" x 7" soft pastel on Pastelmat
Inspired by South Mountains State Park
 What would be more vulnerable than sharing a less-than-perfect creation from my own hand? To admit that I am flawed, imperfect, have weaknesses, especially in my own artwork? I paint a lot - nearly every day and frequently more than once a day - and by far most of them are definitely not my best works, not even close. In fact, I have many, MANY more failed paintings than those even close to resembling success. 

"Behind Her Turquoise Tears"
© 2019 Tammy Kaufman
6" x 4" soft pastel on Pastelmat
Inspired by Wake Forest Reservoir
And yet, I share them all online, even the stinkers. Why? Maybe it's the hope that someone will disagree with what I consider a failed work and see it as a success. But I think it's more a means of finding strength in my own vulnerability, or perhaps even the hope of helping another artist avoid my mistakes by seeing where I went wrong with a painting. 

"Beckoned to the Edge of Madness"
© 2019 Tammy Kaufman
5" x 7" soft pastel on Multimedia Artboard Pastel Artist Panel
Inspired by the southern portion of the Neuse River Trail
I know that I deeply respect and admire those few professional artists who do post their failed paintings because that helps me learn from them. So I'll continue posting my works - the good, the bad and the ugly - and I hope that will encourage you to share the entirety of yourself as an artist as well. The world needs all of what makes us artists, not just the parts we think are perfect.

"With Flushed Cheeks"
© 2019 Tammy Kaufman
6" x 4" soft pastel on Strathmore Pastel Paper
Inspired by our backyard, painted en plein air

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